Marketing expert Vilma Nuñez, who has over a million followers on Instagram, explained some time ago: on social networks That there is a difference between persuading and manipulating. “Both terms try to persuade the buyer, but their purposes and ways of using them are quite different,” he said. A persuasive person tries to persuade others with real, correct and solid reasons. The manipulator, on the other hand, hides or changes some of the information for his own benefit. Manipulation involves distorting facts and playing with the mind to gain an advantage, often without the other person even realizing it.
During an argument, we may notice that some tactics disguise manipulation, according to psychology.. And we tell you all so that you may be alert.
they use gas lighting deflect blame
HE gas lighting It is a form of manipulation that aims to make another person question their own sanity. Expressions such as “You exaggerate everything” or “You see things that are not there” are examples of this. This term was adapted to the cinema in 1944.kerosene lampA movie in which a woman is manipulated by her husband into believing that he is crazy so that he can steal her fortune. Psychologist María Esclapez explains in her book:I love myself, I love you‘ why A form of emotional abuse where the purpose is to manipulate another person’s perception of reality and make them doubt their sanity. The result for victims is “the cancellation and humiliation of their own feelings and emotions that arise in conflict situations.”
In arguments, the manipulative person uses: gas lighting Shifting blame and attention away from their own actions, denying things that happened, or questioning what you remember of events, thus accepting their version of events. And it’s so strong It can create feelings of confusion and low self-esteem in those who suffer from it..
They bring up your past mistakes
As psychologist and psychotherapist explain Rosario Linares “Guilt is a powerful driver of behavior, so manipulators often try to make their victims feel guilty.” How do they do this? Bringing up mistakes you’ve made to distract from the topic, gain an advantage, and make the other person feel guilty about what happened. When you realize this, you find yourself trying to defend or justify your past actions rather than discussing what concerns you now. And no, this is not constructive criticism or a learning method. This is a technique they use to control you.
They use reactive abuse
according to psychologist Andrea SerrantReactive abuse involves “falling into the narcissist’s game of manipulation and provocation by pushing certain buttons in the victim’s psyche.” That is, they deliberately provoke the victim to get a negative reaction from him (e.g. anger). And this is textbook manipulation whose purpose is nothing more than to scold the victim for his reaction. It is known as “” in English.don’t bother” translated as “put bait.” The manipulator now becomes the victim of the person reacting to a repeated and covert attack, and that reaction becomes a tool.
They turn the tables
Misrepresentation according to RAE“It is a forced or erroneous interpretation of words or events.” In the context that concerns us, it refers to a manipulative person’s ability to manipulate our words to make them mean something completely different and make them better fit the manipulator’s story. In every situation, they are experts at turning the tables, taking what we say, changing it, and using our own words against us. This causes you to question your own perspective, doubt, and become confused because what you hear is something you said, but at the same time it is not.
They play the victim role
There are people who feel comfortable in the victim role. Especially manipulative people, because by doing this they distract attention from their actions and mistakes. Iria Reguera, psychologist and manager of Trendencias, explains: making mistakes does not measure your worth as a person and “learning that no mistake defines us will help us accept, own up to the guilt, and learn from it.” But if the person you are arguing with always plays the victim, it is because they never take responsibility or accept responsibility for their mistakes. When this happens, We end up feeling sorry for them and ignore what they did. And that’s just one of many things. Behaviors that define someone who is a victim.
They use silence as a weapon
Florence Nightingale, a 19th-century nurse and social activist, wrote that “unnecessary noise is the most cruel lack of care that can be inflicted on the sick.” Thus, silence can become a cruel weapon. In psychology, silence used to punish, control and manipulate is called the “silent treatment”.. additionally Psychotherapist Lara Borrell told usThe “ice bullet” is one of the most subtle tools of psychological abuse. It is “characterized by a set of behaviors aimed at ignoring the victim” and is an action calculated and designed to make you feel guilty, rejected or anxious.
Some examples of its use include not responding to your messages, avoiding eye contact, or rejecting your affection after an argument, or when they feel the dispute is over as per the circumstances. And this is a clear sign of emotional abuse.
They are emotionally blackmailing
Emotional blackmail, Dr. Susan Forward’s 1997 ‘Emotional blackmail: When people use fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you.. It consists of: Having someone use your feelings of love, sympathy, or fear against you to get what they wantand this is a powerful and very damaging form of manipulation.
I give some examples of its use in everyday and seemingly harmless expressions: “If you loved me, you would…”, “How could you do this to me after everything I’ve done for you?”, “If you don’t ‘Don’t do what I ask of you, who knows what will happen to me”, or even “ If you do this for me, I will take you…”. These statements are designed to make you feel guilty or obligated to comply with their demands; This can leave you feeling trapped, threatened or helpless.
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Photos | Marriage Story (2019)
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