At Christmas dinner, there’s a risk of gaining more than a few pounds from the little bit too much of the pollock, prawns, fries, and hundreds of side dishes shared across a table full of people.
The figure of the “brother-in-law” is revealed in all its glory, but he is not the only one who can make unwarranted comments, because without realizing it, we can be rude, inappropriate or a little clumsy during a conversation. around a Christmas celebration. If we add to this that in some family environments, gathering together for Christmas is more of a punishment than a celebration, we all experience this together.
With the help of the bookPoliteness, life experience and social relationships‘ (Kindness, good life and social relations) We made some observations of French psychologist and sociologist Dominique Picard. Phrases that can trigger an argument, even if said innocently and the celebration ends in order.
“Nice but missing…”
My mother spends weeks preparing for such celebrations. Spend hours shopping, preparing dinner, and taking care of every detail so that everything is perfect, and the best way to be grateful to him and his efforts is that it is better to keep quiet about Jordi Cruz-style criticism because you may receive one. cut ” “Get everything ready next time, beautiful.”
In fact, according to Dominique Picard, at a dinner party this is a real lack of training and it is normal to congratulate the person who prepared the feast. Express gratitude for the food and the effort it takes to prepare it Capture an atmosphere of deep gratitude during these dates.
“Did you see the news?”
The expert explains that although there are very politicized families who appreciate non-violent discussion of controversial topics such as politics, religion or health, such conversations do occur in some settings. can be emotionally charged and cause tensions. Something the “brother-in-law” at the table wouldn’t do. Three tips to prevent it from going further:
- Let him talk for a few minutes and end the conversation using irony by saying, “You’re done with your 15 minutes of depression/anger, now we’re talking about something else.”
- Have the most influential person at the table ask you for help with something in the kitchen, and politely talk them into finding more positive conversation topics.
- To continue This public speaking expert’s final tip for us involves silence.
“You’ve gained some weight, haven’t you?”
Not just that body shaming What’s wrong with Christmas is judging other people’s bodies, something we should never do, no matter what time it is. Whether we gain weight or not is not a reason for discussion at the table. It’s not even outside. And of course we shouldn’t have to explain or justify weight gain or loss.
Not only is this a rude and unnecessary comment, it’s also a truth that doesn’t need to come out of your mouth. That person has a mirror in his house and he looks in the mirror regularly and sees the observation you made, Sherlock. Moreover, with such statements we continue to focus on our weight and physique, sometimes attributing to it a value that has little to do with health and everything to do with harmony.
“We must take into account each person’s personal sensitivity and avoid putting others in an uncomfortable or even humiliating situation,” explains Picard. Therefore, negative comments or intrusive questions about sensitive topics such as weight should be strictly prohibited.
“You should follow your brother’s example.”
Clearly Any comparison at the table (and outside) is toxic behavior that should be avoided. Apart from creating rivalries that contribute nothing, the expert confirms that this can also affect the self-confidence of the person receiving it. “Although many parents find this difficult, it is necessary not to infantilize their children when they become adults and, above all, not to remind them of past situations or labels that have not been overcome,” the psychologist advised. in Le Figaro magazine.
“Do you mind if I watch TV?”
According to the psychologist, at Christmas we should avoid any words or actions that would upset the rest of the table. These include not participating in any conversations, constantly looking at your cell phone, or leaving the table to do something else. Christmas is a time of celebration, let’s enjoy it with our loved ones.
Bonus: “When will the child arrive?”
This phrase belongs to Trendencias, but we could not skip it because as a childless woman and DINK relationshipThis question has always seemed harsh to me, especially The person asking the question may not know whether you are not having children because you don’t want to or because you can’t.. Please let’s avoid these questions because we could unknowingly cause a lot of harm to someone.
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Photos | silent night
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